Recently I had an opportunity to hear Jonathan Falwell speak.  He said something that hit me and made me stop and evaluate.

God created me and called me to be me.  He didn’t equip me to be able to what another pastor/leader does.  Stop thinking if I do what they do, God will bless my ministry. If I do what God has called me to do, as He called me to do it, then God will bless my ministry.

It is so easy to look and see what a successful leader, pastor, writer, father is doing and start to think that we should be doing things more like that person.  It worked for them so it will work for me too, right?  Well, God created each of us uniquely.  If not for the way we were created, everything would be the same thing all the time.  There would be no variety.  No spice.

I’m glad I’m called to be me.  I’m glad you are called to be you.  You and I aren’t going to do everything the same way.  And that is good.  But sometimes I forget that it’s ok to be me.  When I am faithful at what He called me to do, God will bless my ministry for His glory and not my own.  God called you to be you.  We are not the apes that Darwin claims we came from.  We weren’t created to sit around and mimic each other all the time.

Be creative!  Be original!  Just get out there and be you!

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me 
because God anointed me. 
He sent me to preach good news to the poor, 
heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners.

God sent me to announce the year of his grace— 
a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies— 
and to comfort all who mourn,

To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, 
give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes, 
Messages of joy instead of news of doom, 
a praising heart instead of a languid spirit. 
Rename them “Oaks of Righteousness” 
planted by God to display his glory.

Isaiah 61:1-3

This beginning section of Isaiah 61 is a prophet declaring what his mission is.  There are two types of people referred to here.  The first is the hurting, mourning, heavy-hearted, prisoners, etc.  The second is the one chosen to announce the message.  We are born into a world of pain, heartache, gloom and doom.  A lot of our lives we spend living in that prison of devastation.  But then Christ comes along and changes all that.  Breaks us free.  Heals our wounds.  Gives us hope.  Then we are moved from the first group to the second.

Because of what Jesus did for us way back in the day, we are no longer stuck in the cycle of destruction.  Christ followers have been moved into a new life of light, beauty and hope!  But because we are in this new group, we are called to share this message.  Too often we leave that to the pastors of the local church.  ”Oh, God called them to this so they are better at it than I will ever be.”  Well don’t forget that your neighbors and friends that you already have relationships with need to hear this message too!

Remember this week that as a Christ follower you are called to share the message of God’s grace and love!

If I had a dollar for every time I have heard a pastor use the example of a family fighting on the way to church only to walk in the doors and act as if everything was sun shining, birds chirping, angels singing perfect, I would have a whole bunch of money!  It’s always the perfect example.  Most of you speakers out there are taking your shoes and socks off right now because your fingers weren’t enough to count the times you have.  It’s ok.  We still love you.  Now I’m gonna use it.

Recently I was watching a bonus feature on a DVD of one of my favorite shows.  It was a reading of the script for an episode with all the cast, crew and writers in one small room.  The clip was about 45 minutes long.  No fanciness.  No quality transitions.  No music.  No sound effects.  Just a bunch of people all reading the same stack of papers and speaking like their characters.  It wasn’t the most exciting thing in the world and I even realized toward the beginning that I had seen the episode so it wasn’t even keeping my interest because it was new.  But despite all the scaled back-ness I was drawn in.  As a matter of fact the longer I watched the more I liked it.  I started liking the writers, the characters, the narrators, and everyone there.  If possible, this behind the scenes view was causing me to like the show even more.

Now back to the fun and totally not overused example of the arguing family going to church.  What if there was a camera around filming your behind the scenes?  If the average person that you are selling your appearance, attitude, lifestyle, beliefs, etc. saw the behind the scenes bonus feature of your life would they still buy?  What about your job?  Would people still want to use your company if they saw what it was like when the customer isn’t around?  What about your perfect-at-church family?  Your marriage?  What about your church?

Most of us have learned the ability to hide the behind the scenes.  We have deleted it as an option from the DVD of our lives.  But what we don’t realize is that many times the behind the scenes view is actually there.  Maybe not in a feature but it’s there.  We show little signs of what it is like behind the scenes without intending to or even knowing it.  Fortunately as the words to a Shaun Groves song called Welcome Home so accurately describe, our loving God wants to be a part of all of our lives and not just the face of it all.  He is there to help repair, clean and provide that TLC that many of our behind the scenes features need.

How’s your behind the scenes?  Does it draw people in or make them run for cover?

As I was reading through the book of Acts I came across a verse that stood out to me. Paul was going through some rough times but he wasn’t about to give up. Then in a dream God spoke to him and encouraged him.

One night the Master spoke to Paul in a dream: “Keep it up, and don’t let anyone intimidate or silence you. No matter what happens, I’m with you and no one is going to be able to hurt you. You have no idea how many people I have on my side in this city.” That was all he needed to stick it out.

~ Acts 18:9-11

I wonder how many people need to hear that verse today. Take heart in that. God is with you. He will give your strength. There is more going for you than you know.

Thank Him for that today and keep it up! Don’t give up on your city/friends/family/work!

I can’t count the number of times I have experienced Person A who wants Person B to learn or do something that he/she (Person A) isn’t willing to do or just don’t do.  It happens all the time.

Examples:

• A adult tries to teach a child that drinking or smoking is unhealthy but drinks or smokes at least part time.
• A father tells the kids they should go to church but won’t turn off the game to go with them.
• A employer cracks down on tardiness but is consistently late for everything.

For me this plays out in several different ways.  I am a husband, a father and a pastor.  I cannot expect my wife to become a great communicator in our marriage if I am not willing to share my thoughts and feelings with her.  I cannot expect my child to grow up following Christ if I am not living that out in front of her.  I cannot expect the people at church to focus and worship if I am not setting the example.

We live our lives leading (or not leading) others around us.  We want them to reach that next level and become a better spouse or a well rounded child or a more head over heels follower of Christ, but if we aren’t modeling that out for them, how are they supposed to know and learn that it is actually something good for them?  Without real leadership from those before them (spouse, parents, boss, pastor, etc.) it just comes out as talk and probably taken with a grain of salt.

Are you leading those around your sphere of influence to be better or are you just blabbing hollow thoughts that go in one ear and out the other?  Lord, help us learn to lead by example and not by words.

In the midst of a crazy week that is full of so much work related jobs, tasks and opportunities, I am fighting a battle that I have lost before.  One of the ways that I have struggled in our marriage so far is by working too much.  While working for a church it is very easy to get into the mindset that the work is for God and that it is more important.  Of course I would never agree that my job is more important than my family, but as they say, actions speak louder than words.

For me it isn’t staying out too late or being gone on work trips.  It was much more subtle to me.  I didn’t realize it.  Some of it I wasn’t even seeing as work.  It was just answering emails or playing with graphics or listening to a song on repeat on my iPod.  Yes, occasionally I would bring some more major work home, but it was when that became a regular occurrence.  It was when I would try to perfect something I was working on instead of spending time with my family.  I didn’t realize it, but I was only giving them my emotional, mental and physical scraps.  I was spending so much time thinking and worrying about my work tasks that my brain was consumed with these thoughts and my focus was lacking in the areas it needed to be focused on.

So changes had to be made.  I had to become more efficient with my time in the office so I didn’t have much to bring home.  I had to learn to prioritize my tasks and be ok with not being able to complete everything by the end of that week.  I had to learn to say no to things so that I could say yes to the more important things.  Yes, there are times that we have to get things done and my amazing wife has been great in supporting me when those times come up.

This week is another battle for me.  Fortunately losing the battle doesn’t always mean that the war is lost!  We lose the war when we choose not to fight anymore.  Fight for your family today.  Let your actions be the words that they need to hear.  Tell them you love them and are fighting for them and they will always be more important than work!

Recently during an evening of miscellaneous-ness we had the TV on.  We weren’t really watching as we were doing other things, but for some reason at one point my attention was drawn to it and I heard something that got me thinking.  It was at the end of a wedding reception and the bride and groom are leaving when someone yells to him, “go have fun becoming a man!”  Then off they go to whatever it is that married couples do on that night.

I would wager that sex, even sex with your wife, does not make you a man.  There is much more to manhood than sex!  For the sake of the early years of your marriage (or your marriage as a whole) becoming a man MUST happen long before the sex.  It must happen long before the ring or the cake or the tux or the bill.  As our world would teach us otherwise, these things aren’t what makes you a man.  Manhood is not determined by the number of names on your Been There Done That list.  It is not determined by the level of experience you have in the bedroom.  It’s not about learning to say the right things or being smooth or buying her a drink or even having the best pick up lines.  It’s not about the sports cars, the cigars, the muscles or the ability to make her weak in the knees.  It’s not about the conquests or the make-outs or even tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue.

So what does it take then?  What makes a man a real man?  As I said before, manhood is something that happens before all the above.  Manhood involves maturity, spirituality, identity and love.

• He learns to love his wife long before he knows her.  He learns to love and respect his family.
• He knows that his identity is not found in himself, friends, sexual partners, or his wife.  His identity is in Christ where he has strength and hope and love as a son of God.
• He keeps Christ the center of his relationships.  As he grows, learns, dates, loves, he keeps his life focused in the right place and not self-centered desires.
• He has the maturity to lead others.  He doesn’t have to lead thousands upon thousands but he does have to lead a family.

The perfect man does all these things.  Do we all get them right?  No.  We are human.  We are flawed.  It’s not being this perfect man, but rather striving for what is right.  A real man knows he falls short but gives it everything he has anyway.  A real man knows he can’t be perfect.  He knows he can’t be what his family needs.  But he knows that Christ is who gives him the strength and ability to rise to the occasion.  He strives to follow Christ’s example in loving his family and leading them as truly good husbands and daddies do.  As men do.

A real man learns that he is inadequate and He is more than enough long before he hands in his V card.

As a part of a band, a staff member and a pastor, I know that a ton of work goes into a Sunday morning church experience.  Despite the sometimes popular opinion that pastors only work on the weekends, there really is quite a bit of planning, studying, learning, practicing, etc. for every week.

BUT before you go thinking that this post is about appreciating your pastors, stop your fingers from typing!

There is so much more to what goes on than just the main people that you see all the time.  There are people that clean, setup, play instruments, take care of kids, fill communion cups, type out and stuff the bulletins, run sound, fix things, and so much more!  I could try list them all, but I would miss something and it would be a really long list.  Without these people the way church is done wouldn’t happen!  The lead pastor, worship pastor, youth pastor and kids pastor could all get there early in the morning, but church wouldn’t be the same.  Coffee may be brewed and on the verge of getting cold, but the donuts wouldn’t have made it, the lights wouldn’t work, no one would be there to watch your kids and the grammar in the bulletins and onscreen lyrics would be horrendous!

So what then?  Am I trying to convince you to become a volunteer?  No.  We would love to have you but that’s not the point.  The point is, that there are so many people that deserve a thank you or butt slap or man hug or whatever beyond the normal church staff.  This week as you go to church look around.  Notice all the other people that are there making things happen.  They are why you enjoy going to church where you do.  God has given them gifts that they want to use to love on you and your family!  Find those people and tell them thank you.  Tell them you appreciate what they do.  Tell them how much it means to you to have a church like you have.  They deserve it!

To all my volunteers over the past decade of church work as if I could say it enough times, thank you.  I know this in no way does it justice, but I just want you to know how much I love you and appreciate you!

Most of us struggle to fit in for a good part of our lives.  We think we need to be like someone else in order for people to like us.  Then one day you start to learn that a fake you is far worse than the real you.  You start to embrace the goofy, quirky, uniqueness that is you.  We stop trying to be like everyone else in order to blend in.  As we grow up we learn these things.  But then as we move into leadership roles our self-doubt issues come back.  Whether you are a teacher, pastor, lead singer, dad, or manager, the temptation to aspire to lead as someone else comes up.  They are successful.  They are liked.  They do things well.  Maybe I am supposed to lead just like them.

As Christians we are called to be like Jesus, no?  If I recall correctly (and I do), Jesus didn’t blend in.  He didn’t just do what everyone around Him was doing or wanted Him to do.  He was different.  He didn’t lead like King David or John the Baptist or Moses.  He led like Jesus.  We need to learn to do the same.  We need to stop trying to lead like Rick Warren or Steven Tyler or Barak Obama.  Yes, learn from them, but remember that you are not them (unless of course you are actually one of them…but that is very doubtful since you are reading my blog)!  You are you!  God didn’t make every single one of us (except your doppleganger if you believe that sort of thing) unique so that we could all be the same.  There is no logic in that!

God created us all different so why would the way we lead not follow suit?  When I first started leading worship I tried and tried and tried to be just like other worship leaders that I looked up to.  I tried to sing like them.  I tried to choose the same songs as them.  I tried to play the same guitars as them.  I even tried to act like them on stage.  Finally, I came to realize that I am not those other leaders.  I don’t have to lead the way they do.  There is a ton I can learn from them, but at the end of the day, if I am leading like them I am just copying something that God created to be unique.

Your leadership isn’t perfect.  My leadership isn’t perfect.  Learn from others.  But as long as you lead your family/staff/band/team as the you that God created you to be, you are headed in the right direction!  Don’t apologize for not being someone else.

As Genie from Aladdin put it, “Beeeeeee yourself!”

It seems like every time I hear Andy Stanley speak, God uses him to blow my mind or rock my world.  And every time I hear him speak I think to myself, why don’t I listen to more of his podcasts and not just follow him on Twitter (@AndyStanley).  Hmm.  Not sure, but I am really glad he does this whole Catalyst thing.

He always says things that make many in leadership positions rethink what they are doing or how they are handling their teams.  At Catalyst West Coast he was speaking on being a better leader and said “your fully exploited strengths are far greater than your developing weaknesses.”  As a pastor I know that this is an easily overlooked or ignored truth.  When the organization is small certain things are necessary, but many times we don’t grow past this.  I have seen it happen with setup/teardown teams, staff members and media teams and I’m sure those aren’t the only ones.

Is it a bad thing to be doing multiple things including areas that are weaknesses?  No.  That’s not what I am getting at.  But at least for me, if I am not careful (which many times I am not) the following things happen:

• I forget is that I am better that my strengths than I am at my weaknesses that I am working on
• I stop using my strengths to their full potential
• I start worrying about how I can make my weaknesses better
• I let my strengths suffer or go unused because my attention to my weaknesses becomes more important.

As it is true with me, it is true with leading my team.  Let’s say for example I have a volunteer that is serving in a capacity that they are just getting by but not being truly utilized.  If I know that they would be much more fulfilled and useful for our common goal, I need to do whatever I can to make sure they get into a position that fits them better!  Even those of us that have to do multiple things need to remember that God gave us strengths and that we cannot neglect those God given strengths because we are spending too much time on our weaknesses.  When we do that, nothing gets done well and everything suffers.

Now you.  Share with the rest of us.  Are you using your strengths as strengths or are you pushing them aside while being distracted by your weaknesses?  Is there someone on your team that you need to move to a different seat?  What do you think?

Go!