So I know this is a little out of the normal order of things around here, but I just couldn’t pass up this video any longer.  My daughter is now 5 1/2 months old and is growing up before our very eyes (I guess that phrase works for almost every kid…except for Benjamin Button).  We have been trying out several different types of solid foods the latest being nectarines, peas and plums.

One of my favorite things about this whole parenting thing is watching and realizing the craziness of all the firsts.  I’m not talking about the walking or talking or whatever.  I mean the first time she experiences things.  The first time she tries to laugh but can’t because she doesn’t know how.  The first time she tastes something sweet but doesn’t know what to do because she has never had sweet before.  The first time she is tickled but doesn’t realize it’s funny.

Fortunately since my wife and I have been blogging and videoing all the time, we have caught many of these on camera.  This one is so amazing I have just watched it over and over and over.  Not like her first real laugh.  Not like a daddy looking at his growing daughter.  Not like that.  I watch this one over and over and over because I laugh so hard it hurts.  I’m not a crier, but I have already laughed so hard at this video that I have had tears streaming down my face!

Yeah.  It’s that good.  I recommend repeatedly restarting the video at about 12 seconds.  And cue the tears.

Recently I was reading a post about dads and how we handle the kids when mom is gone.  This video was linked.  Despite the fact that I am blatantly jacking the whole idea, I loved the video and wanted to share it with you!  The video is a Sketchy video called I’ll Get The Ice Creams and it is about daddy being on childcare duty while mom gets the ice creams.  It is hilarious and just might give you moms out there a little glimpse into the chaos that seems to ensue when you leave us in charge of the kids!  (I promise.  We try.  You are just way better at it than us!)

Last night I had the opportunity to start a tradition with my little girl (and give mommy a break).  I expect we will make this a weekly thing (as it should be!)  As soon as I got home from work, me and the little one took off for a night on the town.  Granted she is only 5 months old so for a while we will be a tad limited on our options for what she will enjoy so for now we walk and talk and bounce and play peek-a-boo and fly and such.  Good times for sure!  Thought you might enjoy a couple pictures from our night at the beach.  (PS – They are all of her.  I’m not good at the self portrait thing.  Plus she is WAY cuter!)

Every night as I check on my almost 4 month old daughter I take some time and pray for her. I pray for health. I pray for safety. I pray for sleep! I pray for strength and guidance as her daddy to raise her right. I thank God for her. It’s easy. She’s my baby girl! It comes natural. I don’t struggle at all to pray for her.

But as I was praying for her last night I realized that I have not been following Jesus’ words. In Matthew 5 Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those that hurt you. I’m not doing that. There is a boy (maybe even not born yet) out there that right now is my enemy. As terrible as that is to say, I am NOT ok with the fact that my baby girl is gonna have boyfriends and one day get married. She is my little baby that has mommy and daddy as her whole world! Any boy that wants to mess that up is not a friend of mine…right now. I mean that’s down right persecution if you ask me! Dang boys.

So I realized as painful as it may be, I should be praying for all of her future and that includes boys. I am told to love my future son-in-law and pray for all those boyfriends that are gonna hurt my heart (and possibly earn a plot of land in our backyard). It’s not easy. I don’t wanna go there. I don’t wanna be ok with that. But I have to. Jesus told me to.

It’s time to man up.

What about you? Who are you supposed to be praying for that you are struggling to bring up with God?

I can’t count the number of times I have experienced Person A who wants Person B to learn or do something that he/she (Person A) isn’t willing to do or just don’t do.  It happens all the time.

Examples:

• A adult tries to teach a child that drinking or smoking is unhealthy but drinks or smokes at least part time.
• A father tells the kids they should go to church but won’t turn off the game to go with them.
• A employer cracks down on tardiness but is consistently late for everything.

For me this plays out in several different ways.  I am a husband, a father and a pastor.  I cannot expect my wife to become a great communicator in our marriage if I am not willing to share my thoughts and feelings with her.  I cannot expect my child to grow up following Christ if I am not living that out in front of her.  I cannot expect the people at church to focus and worship if I am not setting the example.

We live our lives leading (or not leading) others around us.  We want them to reach that next level and become a better spouse or a well rounded child or a more head over heels follower of Christ, but if we aren’t modeling that out for them, how are they supposed to know and learn that it is actually something good for them?  Without real leadership from those before them (spouse, parents, boss, pastor, etc.) it just comes out as talk and probably taken with a grain of salt.

Are you leading those around your sphere of influence to be better or are you just blabbing hollow thoughts that go in one ear and out the other?  Lord, help us learn to lead by example and not by words.

Recently during an evening of miscellaneous-ness we had the TV on.  We weren’t really watching as we were doing other things, but for some reason at one point my attention was drawn to it and I heard something that got me thinking.  It was at the end of a wedding reception and the bride and groom are leaving when someone yells to him, “go have fun becoming a man!”  Then off they go to whatever it is that married couples do on that night.

I would wager that sex, even sex with your wife, does not make you a man.  There is much more to manhood than sex!  For the sake of the early years of your marriage (or your marriage as a whole) becoming a man MUST happen long before the sex.  It must happen long before the ring or the cake or the tux or the bill.  As our world would teach us otherwise, these things aren’t what makes you a man.  Manhood is not determined by the number of names on your Been There Done That list.  It is not determined by the level of experience you have in the bedroom.  It’s not about learning to say the right things or being smooth or buying her a drink or even having the best pick up lines.  It’s not about the sports cars, the cigars, the muscles or the ability to make her weak in the knees.  It’s not about the conquests or the make-outs or even tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue.

So what does it take then?  What makes a man a real man?  As I said before, manhood is something that happens before all the above.  Manhood involves maturity, spirituality, identity and love.

• He learns to love his wife long before he knows her.  He learns to love and respect his family.
• He knows that his identity is not found in himself, friends, sexual partners, or his wife.  His identity is in Christ where he has strength and hope and love as a son of God.
• He keeps Christ the center of his relationships.  As he grows, learns, dates, loves, he keeps his life focused in the right place and not self-centered desires.
• He has the maturity to lead others.  He doesn’t have to lead thousands upon thousands but he does have to lead a family.

The perfect man does all these things.  Do we all get them right?  No.  We are human.  We are flawed.  It’s not being this perfect man, but rather striving for what is right.  A real man knows he falls short but gives it everything he has anyway.  A real man knows he can’t be perfect.  He knows he can’t be what his family needs.  But he knows that Christ is who gives him the strength and ability to rise to the occasion.  He strives to follow Christ’s example in loving his family and leading them as truly good husbands and daddies do.  As men do.

A real man learns that he is inadequate and He is more than enough long before he hands in his V card.

With the invention of children into a family comes the neglect of the spouse.  I think one of our founding fathers said that…or not.  But if we are not careful it is absolutely true.  Then when 30 years passes and the kids are all gone you are left in an empty, quiet home with someone you don’t even know!  Can you look at your spouse right now and say that’s not a big deal?  Nope.  Well at least I hope not.

When Kara-Kae and I got married (and those of you who can remember the beginnings of your marriage) we didn’t struggle at all to spend time with each other.  It’s not hard.  It’s what you do!  Even throughout the pregnancy it wasn’t difficult.  Actually during the pregnancy we tried to hang out with each other even more knowing that the next stage in life would be taxing on our relationship.  Then into our world comes our precious little daughter.  Maybe it’s not hard for you if your kids are not cool, but ours is.  All of a sudden there is someone else in our lives that we are giving all our attention to and whose life ours now revolve around.  Even with the best intentions it is extremely easy to start to let the spouse drift away while you both are focused on something else so important.

But if we don’t do something about it we are going to end up in a relationship that isn’t where we want it to be.  Fighting.  Arguing.  Going to bed mad.  Not spending time together.  Basically an obligatory relationship instead of a loving one.  So through our talking and being honest with each other we realized that we needed to do something about it.  I didn’t even realize until we talked that it was something we weren’t doing!  So Friday nights (days and times many vary) are our weekly non-negotiable date nights.  It’s my day off so I won’t have a day that I don’t see the kid(s).  Last night was our first one.  It was great.  It’s still a little difficult to figure it all out, but just making the added extra effort to spend time together is a good start!

Maybe you need to grab the spouse and have a talk.  Make sure you aren’t missing out on something that you need to be feeding!

Do you have a weekly non-negotiable date night?

We all have to go through the valleys.  Most of the time we don’t like it.  Sometimes we learn to appreciate how we are growing and hopefully we can look back and (whether we liked it or not) appreciate what wehave been through.  It’s part of what makes us who we are!  Around here mommy makes Jessi do “tummy time” everyday.

She doesn’t like being on her belly.  She does great holding her head up and but of learning process she is not a fan.  She doesn’t know it right now, but this is a major step in her life.  As much as it sucks, there is so much that she needs to learn through this frustrating time.

Our lives are like that.  God puts us in situations and seasons for us to learn.  Many times we don’t like the place He has put us in and we cry, whine and fight it.  But what we don’t realize or think about all the time is that He knows what we need to learn.  He knows the steps that we need to take to get to where we need to go.  He wants us to grow and mature and many times in order to do that we have to go through the rough spots when our neck muscles are getting tired, we are crying and all we want is for Him to pick us up and put us where we want to be.  But He knows we need to learn to crawl before we can run.

Don’t blow off the season you are in just because it is hard/painful/frustrating.  Remember the things that you have been through already that you have learned from and helped shape the person that you are now.  We have to learn from those times when we are too weak to hold our head up anymore.  Thank God for those times and learn what He is showing you!

So I have this daughter.  She is gorgeous and funny and happy (most of the time).  What?  Oh.  I’ve told you about her.  Well, she is only 10 weeks old.  And as smart as she is, she doesn’t actually know what’s best for her all the time.  As her parents (and to her future horror), we have to make the decisions on what is best for her.  She would like to do that I’m sure, but she just isn’t quite there yet.  But her stubborn little James self likes to think she knows best sometimes.

When my daughter gets tired, she generally just tries to go to sleep.  But sometimes she gets too tired to know what to do.  She starts fighting the sleepiness.  Fighting the heavy eyes.  Fighting the waves crashing in her ears.  Why she does this I don’t know.  Maybe she is just too tired to be able to decide.  Maybe she is feeling a loss of control and is just trying to hang on.

I wonder how many times we do this in our own lives.  We think we are big enough, strong enough, smart enough to make the best decisions for our lives.  But are we?  Nope.  God is, though.  He is the only one who really knows what’s best for us.  When we are tired and fighting it, He knows we need sleep.  He knows that the rest is the best thing for us.

Are you unintentionally fighting against something God knows is best for you?

Let go.  Find that rest in Him.