I realized last night that I had never actually been to the To Write Love On Her Arms Web site.  The shirts are every where.  There are #TWLOHA hashtags all over Twitter, but I had never really checked it out.  So I did.

As I was clicking around I hit their vision page.  The movement was created to help people who are dealing with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide, but as I read through this page all I could think about was friends who are hurting.  People struggling with marriages.  Trying to cope with loss.  No job.  Broken homes.

You were created to love and be loved. … You need to know that your story is important and that you’re part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters. We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart – he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you’re not alone in the places you feel stuck.

We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. … You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption.

To Write Love On Her Arms

We all know someone in pain.  Maybe it isn’t pain pushing them toward suicide, but the pain they are feeling is real.  Working in or being around a church a lot we have a tendency to put on our “game face” and hide all the things that are bothering us.  But when we aren’t being real with each other we are denying ourselves a chance to be loved on, be prayed for, be supported and heal.

As you go about your day, keep in mind that people are hurting.  They are likely hiding their hurt for fear of rejection, abandonment, added pain, or more.  But although they may not be showing it, they are hurting.  They need love.  They need the love that Christ provides.  Maybe it is your turn this week to be Jesus to them.

If you are hurting in any way, know that we love you.  We hurt with you.  Please know that we are ALWAYS available.  Sometimes we just forget that we all like to hide our emotions.  Email us.  Call us.  Stop us.  Talk to us.  We want to support you and love on you.  We want to pray for you and help start the healing process.

Last night the wife and I had one of those long talks.  (No, not like that.  I’m not in trouble.  At least not that I know of.)  You know the ones.  One of those that you ask each other the “what if” questions and the “let’s say ____” hypotheticals.  They are all very good questions and great things to think through and communicate about.  We want to be on the same page about where we see our futures headed and what our ideal situations would be (as if they actually might come true).  If we don’t talk about all these things, when the next five or 10 years happen we won’t be prepared at all.

Like I said they are all good questions.  But at the same time they are scary questions.  As a man, husband and daddy they make me think about all the money and provisions and all those areas that we men fear failure in.  But as I was sitting there talking about our future with my better and smarter half, all I could think about was Jeremiah 29:11.  I can attempt to wrap my mind around everything and try to control it all and have everything figured out, but we all know that is just going to put me in the loony bin.  But I have a God who is in control and far more powerful than I let Him be.  He sees my issues.  He knows my fears.  He has some plans.  They are better than mine.  There is hope.

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Jeremiah 29:11

Are you letting your fears take over your mind?  Are you trying to create the hope that only comes from one Source?  Let it go.  Plan, save, dream.  But let go of the fears.  He’s got your back.

(Well, maybe instinct isn’t the correct word, but anyway…)

You know all those things that your body does inside you that you don’t think about?  Maybe you don’t even know about that.  Well, if you study the human body for very long you will see that there are tons of tiny intricacies that your body does that keep you alive, healthy, growing, etc. that your body just does without you ever thinking about it.  Ever notice that when you are swimming you have to think about not taking a breath?  That’s because your body was designed to breath on its own.  You don’t have to be conscious, awake or focused to do it.  Your body just does it.

Have you ever had to think about making more blood?  How about having that blood coagulate?  Do you know how to digest?  Produce more cells?  Grow new skin?  Extract the oxygen from the air and breathe out the rest?  Heal a bone?  Yeah, me either.  I know my body does that stuff, but I sure can’t sit here and tell my body to do these things and hundreds of others.  I can’t tell it to do them on command.  I can’t tell it to do them differently.  I can’t teach my daughter how to show her body how.  It’s just something that we are created to do.

Our bodies are created to keep us alive and kicking!  It is amazing to think about all these things and how they just go.  From the moment a baby is conceived the body just has things it does without having to check with the conscious brain.  To see those things and deny that there is a God out there that is extremely creative is a pretty massive leap of faith.  Just think about some of your friends (or maybe yourself) that just can’t seem to remember to do things.  We lose our keys.  We get lost.  We cause ourselves pain.  We forget what we were…where was I?

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure I’m glad I don’t have to remember to breath.  I sure wouldn’t get much accomplished if I had to focus on digesting for an hour after I ate.  God has created us to do some pretty insane things.  Even still we struggle to believe and have faith that He will take care of us or provide for us.  Remember that God created you and has set it all in motion.  He is in control and knows what He is doing.  Have some faith in the God who didn’t make you have to remember to breathe!

Right now as I am writing this we are driving along the Alaskan coast.  On one side of me are mountains covered in green with touches of snow.  On the other side is the ocean separating us from more gorgeous mountains.  It is definitely an amazing sight.  But usually when I see this kind of thing or any kind of creation, I don’t think to myself, wow, we have an amazing God.  I am not just drawn closer to Him because of the amazingness around me.  I think to myself, that’s cool or that’s awesome, but not He made that.

Many of us live our lives oblivious to the God around us.  God is a Sunday morning/small group/study type of God and nothing more.  We can see the amazing mountains or beaches or oceans or kids or whatever but we don’t see God in them.  We might appreciate their massiveness or awesomeness or complexity or beauty but we are acting ignorant of the Creator since it isn’t a Sunday morning at church!  We might as well be like my 4 month old baby.  As we are traveling around Alaska she just sleeps through all the scenery and all the wildlife.  She doesn’t know she is supposed to see and appreciate what’s around her yet.  She may see the creation around her but her understanding of the beauty and complexity of it is not there.  And so are we.  If it isn’t during the prayer time or while we are reading the Bible or while the pastor is driving his point home we miss God.  We miss the truth and deepness that the creation around us teaches us.

My mom is not this way.  She sees the things that God created for what they are: evidence that there is a powerful, amazingly creative God out there who has chosen us out of all the things He designed from scratch to love on.  That’s pretty amazing.  So while we have a week left in this gorgeous painting, I hope to see it for what it is and not just more cool sightseeing spots on a map!  I pray you do the same!  It doesn’t have to be mountains or oceans.  See him in your kid’s face.  See him in the complex human race.  See him in the trees and bushes.  He is there.  We just have to stop acting ignorant and arrogant and look for Him!

If I had a dollar for every time I have heard a pastor use the example of a family fighting on the way to church only to walk in the doors and act as if everything was sun shining, birds chirping, angels singing perfect, I would have a whole bunch of money!  It’s always the perfect example.  Most of you speakers out there are taking your shoes and socks off right now because your fingers weren’t enough to count the times you have.  It’s ok.  We still love you.  Now I’m gonna use it.

Recently I was watching a bonus feature on a DVD of one of my favorite shows.  It was a reading of the script for an episode with all the cast, crew and writers in one small room.  The clip was about 45 minutes long.  No fanciness.  No quality transitions.  No music.  No sound effects.  Just a bunch of people all reading the same stack of papers and speaking like their characters.  It wasn’t the most exciting thing in the world and I even realized toward the beginning that I had seen the episode so it wasn’t even keeping my interest because it was new.  But despite all the scaled back-ness I was drawn in.  As a matter of fact the longer I watched the more I liked it.  I started liking the writers, the characters, the narrators, and everyone there.  If possible, this behind the scenes view was causing me to like the show even more.

Now back to the fun and totally not overused example of the arguing family going to church.  What if there was a camera around filming your behind the scenes?  If the average person that you are selling your appearance, attitude, lifestyle, beliefs, etc. saw the behind the scenes bonus feature of your life would they still buy?  What about your job?  Would people still want to use your company if they saw what it was like when the customer isn’t around?  What about your perfect-at-church family?  Your marriage?  What about your church?

Most of us have learned the ability to hide the behind the scenes.  We have deleted it as an option from the DVD of our lives.  But what we don’t realize is that many times the behind the scenes view is actually there.  Maybe not in a feature but it’s there.  We show little signs of what it is like behind the scenes without intending to or even knowing it.  Fortunately as the words to a Shaun Groves song called Welcome Home so accurately describe, our loving God wants to be a part of all of our lives and not just the face of it all.  He is there to help repair, clean and provide that TLC that many of our behind the scenes features need.

How’s your behind the scenes?  Does it draw people in or make them run for cover?

As I was reading through the book of Acts I came across a verse that stood out to me. Paul was going through some rough times but he wasn’t about to give up. Then in a dream God spoke to him and encouraged him.

One night the Master spoke to Paul in a dream: “Keep it up, and don’t let anyone intimidate or silence you. No matter what happens, I’m with you and no one is going to be able to hurt you. You have no idea how many people I have on my side in this city.” That was all he needed to stick it out.

~ Acts 18:9-11

I wonder how many people need to hear that verse today. Take heart in that. God is with you. He will give your strength. There is more going for you than you know.

Thank Him for that today and keep it up! Don’t give up on your city/friends/family/work!

SPOILER ALERT: I’m not going to ruin the movie for you.  I’m not going to tell you what it’s about or how it ends.  If you wanna know that you can find out for yourself.  But I am going to briefly talk about the book.  So if you don’t wanna know, stop reading now and come back when you have seen the movie.

The Book Of Eli is the story of a man, Eli, who is in possession of the last Bible in the post-apocalyptic world.  He is in search of a place that the Bible will be safe and shared with everyone.  As in all movies, the hero encounters obstacles and bad guys along the journey.  But this post isn’t about the movie.  It’s about learning from it.  It’s about realizing something that we often ignore.

As the hero in the movie, Eli knows the power of the book he carries.  He reads it every day and night.  He protects it with his life.  He is determined to share it with the needy world.  But the thing that hit me was that he understood the importance of the Scriptures.  He refused to let anything happen to it and did not take it for granted.  In a world of death and darkness, he held on to the light for all it was worth.

Think about the world we live in.  It is quite different than the world portrayed in the movie.  Even in times of need there is abundance.  We have more than we deserve.  We have a tendency to take the important things for granted because we don’t realize how precious they really are.  We have Bibles all over the place.  Maybe you are like us and have several in the cabinet, a link to an online Bible on your computer and an app on your phone.  We even stock them in hotel rooms (thanks to the Gideons)!  We are more interested in the newest Harry Potter book that we are the Bible.

What if we actually lived our lives knowing that the words that we have are sacred?  What if we knew the Scriptures like Eli?  What if the Bible wasn’t just a commodity?  What if we lived as though spreading the words to those that needed to hear them was the main goal?

I bet our world would be quite different then.

Ever have one of those days when it seems that every idea you have just seems bad.  You know, the days that there is more paper for recycling than left in the notepad to write on.  When your ideas become an ongoing game of hoops with the trashcan.  When you want so desperately to pour out idea after idea…or even just one good idea, but the only thing overflowing is the growing pile of papers around the makeshift hoop.

Yesterday was one of those days.  I tried writing several different blog posts.  I tried several different topics.  Nothing.  Well, nothing good at least.  I think that’s almost more frustrating that just not having ideas at all.  Nothing will make you wanna quit more than bad idea after bad idea.

But as I was sitting there tossing more and more imaginary paper balls in for bank shot after bank shot it hit me how amazing it is that God isn’t like that.  He isn’t just sitting around trying to brainstorm ideas for our lives.  We are not just a crumpled up wad of paper that He tried and failed with.  You were created out of love.  Perfectly made how He wanted to make you.  He poured Himself into you as a masterpiece of art.  If only we could always see ourselves through His eyes.

Maybe you are having one of those days like me that every idea is filed under “T” for Trash.  Maybe you feel like you only have those days.  No matter how much you fail today His love for you doesn’t change.  He still loves the amazing creation that He put together in you.

In the midst of a crazy week that is full of so much work related jobs, tasks and opportunities, I am fighting a battle that I have lost before.  One of the ways that I have struggled in our marriage so far is by working too much.  While working for a church it is very easy to get into the mindset that the work is for God and that it is more important.  Of course I would never agree that my job is more important than my family, but as they say, actions speak louder than words.

For me it isn’t staying out too late or being gone on work trips.  It was much more subtle to me.  I didn’t realize it.  Some of it I wasn’t even seeing as work.  It was just answering emails or playing with graphics or listening to a song on repeat on my iPod.  Yes, occasionally I would bring some more major work home, but it was when that became a regular occurrence.  It was when I would try to perfect something I was working on instead of spending time with my family.  I didn’t realize it, but I was only giving them my emotional, mental and physical scraps.  I was spending so much time thinking and worrying about my work tasks that my brain was consumed with these thoughts and my focus was lacking in the areas it needed to be focused on.

So changes had to be made.  I had to become more efficient with my time in the office so I didn’t have much to bring home.  I had to learn to prioritize my tasks and be ok with not being able to complete everything by the end of that week.  I had to learn to say no to things so that I could say yes to the more important things.  Yes, there are times that we have to get things done and my amazing wife has been great in supporting me when those times come up.

This week is another battle for me.  Fortunately losing the battle doesn’t always mean that the war is lost!  We lose the war when we choose not to fight anymore.  Fight for your family today.  Let your actions be the words that they need to hear.  Tell them you love them and are fighting for them and they will always be more important than work!

Recently during an evening of miscellaneous-ness we had the TV on.  We weren’t really watching as we were doing other things, but for some reason at one point my attention was drawn to it and I heard something that got me thinking.  It was at the end of a wedding reception and the bride and groom are leaving when someone yells to him, “go have fun becoming a man!”  Then off they go to whatever it is that married couples do on that night.

I would wager that sex, even sex with your wife, does not make you a man.  There is much more to manhood than sex!  For the sake of the early years of your marriage (or your marriage as a whole) becoming a man MUST happen long before the sex.  It must happen long before the ring or the cake or the tux or the bill.  As our world would teach us otherwise, these things aren’t what makes you a man.  Manhood is not determined by the number of names on your Been There Done That list.  It is not determined by the level of experience you have in the bedroom.  It’s not about learning to say the right things or being smooth or buying her a drink or even having the best pick up lines.  It’s not about the sports cars, the cigars, the muscles or the ability to make her weak in the knees.  It’s not about the conquests or the make-outs or even tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue.

So what does it take then?  What makes a man a real man?  As I said before, manhood is something that happens before all the above.  Manhood involves maturity, spirituality, identity and love.

• He learns to love his wife long before he knows her.  He learns to love and respect his family.
• He knows that his identity is not found in himself, friends, sexual partners, or his wife.  His identity is in Christ where he has strength and hope and love as a son of God.
• He keeps Christ the center of his relationships.  As he grows, learns, dates, loves, he keeps his life focused in the right place and not self-centered desires.
• He has the maturity to lead others.  He doesn’t have to lead thousands upon thousands but he does have to lead a family.

The perfect man does all these things.  Do we all get them right?  No.  We are human.  We are flawed.  It’s not being this perfect man, but rather striving for what is right.  A real man knows he falls short but gives it everything he has anyway.  A real man knows he can’t be perfect.  He knows he can’t be what his family needs.  But he knows that Christ is who gives him the strength and ability to rise to the occasion.  He strives to follow Christ’s example in loving his family and leading them as truly good husbands and daddies do.  As men do.

A real man learns that he is inadequate and He is more than enough long before he hands in his V card.