Recently during an evening of miscellaneous-ness we had the TV on.  We weren’t really watching as we were doing other things, but for some reason at one point my attention was drawn to it and I heard something that got me thinking.  It was at the end of a wedding reception and the bride and groom are leaving when someone yells to him, “go have fun becoming a man!”  Then off they go to whatever it is that married couples do on that night.

I would wager that sex, even sex with your wife, does not make you a man.  There is much more to manhood than sex!  For the sake of the early years of your marriage (or your marriage as a whole) becoming a man MUST happen long before the sex.  It must happen long before the ring or the cake or the tux or the bill.  As our world would teach us otherwise, these things aren’t what makes you a man.  Manhood is not determined by the number of names on your Been There Done That list.  It is not determined by the level of experience you have in the bedroom.  It’s not about learning to say the right things or being smooth or buying her a drink or even having the best pick up lines.  It’s not about the sports cars, the cigars, the muscles or the ability to make her weak in the knees.  It’s not about the conquests or the make-outs or even tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue.

So what does it take then?  What makes a man a real man?  As I said before, manhood is something that happens before all the above.  Manhood involves maturity, spirituality, identity and love.

• He learns to love his wife long before he knows her.  He learns to love and respect his family.
• He knows that his identity is not found in himself, friends, sexual partners, or his wife.  His identity is in Christ where he has strength and hope and love as a son of God.
• He keeps Christ the center of his relationships.  As he grows, learns, dates, loves, he keeps his life focused in the right place and not self-centered desires.
• He has the maturity to lead others.  He doesn’t have to lead thousands upon thousands but he does have to lead a family.

The perfect man does all these things.  Do we all get them right?  No.  We are human.  We are flawed.  It’s not being this perfect man, but rather striving for what is right.  A real man knows he falls short but gives it everything he has anyway.  A real man knows he can’t be perfect.  He knows he can’t be what his family needs.  But he knows that Christ is who gives him the strength and ability to rise to the occasion.  He strives to follow Christ’s example in loving his family and leading them as truly good husbands and daddies do.  As men do.

A real man learns that he is inadequate and He is more than enough long before he hands in his V card.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  We like to live our lives by this verse.  Philippians 4:13.  We face hard times and say this verse.  We have a difficult obstacle in front of us and we quote this verse.  Any time life throws something at us that seems insurmountable we like to lean on the this one.  But it is too easy to take this one out of context and just use it however we want to apply it.

If you read from verse 11 on down through 13, Paul talks about being content in any and all circumstances.  When he is rich and when he is poor.  When he is sick and when he is healthy.  All because no matter the situation, he knows that through Christ he will always make it through.  That doesn’t mean that when he is trying to get a job and a huge company, Christ will get him the job.  He isn’t going to become a professional golfer just because Jesus is on his side.  He has learned that even when the world sucks and everything is crashing down around him, his God will sustain him.  Doesn’t mean he will win the lottery, but that he will be taken care of.

Last night at a church event the speaker taught from Daniel 3, the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and what these guys believed and stood up for goes right along with contentment in every circumstance God brings along.  With the threat of being thrown into a massive fire and burned to death these three boys stood up to the king and told him that their God is able to keep them save and rescue them.  BUT then it doesn’t stop there.  They continue on to say that while their God is able, even if He doesn’t rescue them, they would still only worship Him.

Don’t miss the depth of that because of the desensitized and commonality of Philippians 4:13.  God is completely capable to do _______ (fill in the blank), but it doesn’t mean that He will.  The rock and hard place that you are in between right now may be exactly where God wants you to teach you something.  He could pull you out and put you in a place of comfort, but He has you there for a reason.  He is a God full of plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11)!

Even if He is proving that “He might not” doesn’t mean He is any less worthy of our praise.  Thank Him for the season you are in (good or bad).  We can be content and make it through anything through Christ who gives us strength.  In the event of something bad happening, learn to be content through Christ.

We all have to go through the valleys.  Most of the time we don’t like it.  Sometimes we learn to appreciate how we are growing and hopefully we can look back and (whether we liked it or not) appreciate what wehave been through.  It’s part of what makes us who we are!  Around here mommy makes Jessi do “tummy time” everyday.

She doesn’t like being on her belly.  She does great holding her head up and but of learning process she is not a fan.  She doesn’t know it right now, but this is a major step in her life.  As much as it sucks, there is so much that she needs to learn through this frustrating time.

Our lives are like that.  God puts us in situations and seasons for us to learn.  Many times we don’t like the place He has put us in and we cry, whine and fight it.  But what we don’t realize or think about all the time is that He knows what we need to learn.  He knows the steps that we need to take to get to where we need to go.  He wants us to grow and mature and many times in order to do that we have to go through the rough spots when our neck muscles are getting tired, we are crying and all we want is for Him to pick us up and put us where we want to be.  But He knows we need to learn to crawl before we can run.

Don’t blow off the season you are in just because it is hard/painful/frustrating.  Remember the things that you have been through already that you have learned from and helped shape the person that you are now.  We have to learn from those times when we are too weak to hold our head up anymore.  Thank God for those times and learn what He is showing you!

Throughout our lives we go through times that are painful, times that are difficult.  Some get so bad they make us want to throw in the towel and give up.  We deal with deaths of loved ones, destroyed marriages, financial problems, lost jobs, hurt, etc.  Sometimes we like to think that because we are Christians our lives shouldn’t be hard.  We shouldn’t be going through the tough times.  But nothing could be farther from the truth!

All throughout the Bible there are people who were very acquainted with having their world’s rocked.  Job, David, Paul, Peter, and on.  God didn’t spare the leaders from the Bible from hurt and pain, yet we live our lives not expecting anything to ever happen.  They will come.  Times will be rough.  You will have hurt.  But there is good news.  They aren’t there just to torture us!  We go through those times to to learn, be taught, be drawn to God.  We have hope in Him because He knows what He is doing!  David and Job are very vocal about their hope.  When the world seemed like it was about to end for them, they had hope in God.  The hope helps sustain us.

Without hope the world is a pretty dark and depressing place.  When the hard times strike, hope in God.  It may be painful right now, but He knows what He is doing.  He has a plan.  He does so that we can have a future and hope!  He’s not just up their flipping a coin and waiting for you to screw up.  He loves you!

When the hurt seems more than you can bear, He is there for you.  When you get to the point that you don’t think you can go on, hope in Him.  When the world around you, family, friends, leaders fail you, be filled with hope in God!

Set this hope in me, Set this hope in me

That I may be pure and holy
That I may be like You only
That I may be completely free

Though You slay me I will hope
Hope inspires my endurance
Your hope is my anchor
God of hope fill me

- Charlie Hall – God Of Hope

Did you know you are in ministry?  It’s true.  You are.  Whether you know it or not, you are.  You don’t work at a church?  Oh.  That’s ok!  You still are in ministry.  That doesn’t mean that deep down you are a pastor and you didn’t even know it.  It doesn’t mean we all have to get up and preach (thank the Lord).  But as Christians we are all ministers.  Ministry isn’t just something that takes place in the church building.  It’s not something that only the church staff does.  If you look up the term minister in the dictionary all the normal things we think of come up.

• One who is authorized to perform religious functions
• A high officer of state appointed to head an executive or administrative department of government
• To attend to the wants and needs of others
• To perform the functions of a cleric

But there is another definition that I like.  A person serving as an agent for another by carrying out specified orders or functions. As Christians we are exactly that.  People serving as agents for Christ by carrying out specified orders or functions.  In the book of Mark we are told that second only to loving God with everything that we are we are to love those around us.  Seems like a pretty specific order and function.  It’s a command!  Love them!

If you think about it we have chances all the time to minister and show love to those around us.  Do we always take those opportunities?  Sadly no.  But there are so many times when someone close to us needs someone to talk to or some to love on them or help them.  We don’t have to be in full time ministry, paid by the church with business cards that say some translation of the word pastor!  Minister at home!  To your spouse.  Your kids.  Your neighbors, friends, family, etc.  Even when you don’t want to or don’t feel like it is your job or that you are good enough, God can and will use you to minister and love on them.  As Mark Driscoll put it, “Ministry is what God does for us, in us, through us and sometimes in spite of us.”

Next time you think to yourself, this person needs some prayer or counsel or love, remember that you are a minister of God.  You are called by God to be just that!

One of the coolest things in ministry is seeing the Church work together.  Some churches get together for bigger men’s/women’s ministries.  Others for events or projects or camps.  But until a few years ago, I had never seen anything like this.  Churches from all over the world joining together to pray with one mind and heart, provide resources for each other and help plant churches all over the world!  THAT is something pretty cool.

June is almost here and that means that it is time for One Prayer 2010.  Still with plenty of time left to join up, there are 978 (at the moment) churches signed up and locking arms together for this completely free event.  That’s huge!  The theme this year is Unstoppable.  When the Church unites, it’s unstoppable… unstoppable grace, unstoppable compassion, unstoppable evangelism, unstoppable love, unstoppable generosity, unstoppable truth, unstoppable hope.

Whether your church is a part of One Prayer or not, join with hundreds of thousands of people all across the globe in praying for this event, the churches involved, the impact the Church will have on our communities and the brand new churches that will be planted as a result of One Prayer.  Make sure you check out the One Prayer 2010 Web site, too!

our God is greater, our God is stronger
God, You are higher than any other
our God is Healer, awesome in power
our God, our God

and if our God is for us
then who could ever stop us
and if our God is with us
then what could stand against

Last year I had the pleasure of hearing Perry Noble speak.  If you don’t know who Perry is, you should get to know him.  He is hysterical and will tell it like it is.  God is using him and his ministry in a huge way in South Carolina!  You can read his blog or follow him on Twitter.  If you can get through the comments about food without eating yourself to death there is a ton you can learn through him.

I’m not going to keep it short and simple.  Perry asked this question the last time I heard him speak and it is a question that we should all ask ourselves and then rethink our lives.  So I ask you today.

What would you be willing to attempt for God if you knew you could not fail?

He followed it up with “You are a coward if you don’t.”  Ouch.

What say you?

I have had the song on my Video Of The Week stuck in my head for a few days on end now.  I keep turning it on and I keep hearing it in my head.  Sometimes having a song stuck in your head like that is so annoying that you want to bang your head against the wall and throw out your Apple products…well that is probably going a little too far, but you know what I mean.  But then there are those times that the song that is stuck in your head is helping you.  It is building you up.  It is strengthening you.  It is ministering to you.  This is one of those times.

The song is called Beautiful Things by Gungor.  While the whole song is great, I just have the main lines of the chorus on repeat as if it were a broken record (Yeah, I said it!  Do you even remember those things?  I hear they are making a comeback.).

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of dust

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

It’s so perfect!  We are nothing!  We are dust!  Yet God takes us and makes us into beauty.  He makes us shine.  It’s just hitting me on several different levels.

• I, alone, am nothing more than dust.
• He takes me when I am clearly not worthy.
• He creates me into something more than what I am and what I can accomplish.
• He makes me something beautiful in His eyes.

It just keeps on running through my head.  I guess I need to learn from it.  Do the same.  Remember that without God we are just dust.  With Him and through Him we are something far more beautiful that we could pull off on our own.  I want my life to be beautiful in His eyes.  Thank Him for loving you even when you are only dust and turning you into something amazingly beautiful!

As little kids we looked up to our dads. They were/still are super heroes. They could do anything, fix anything, be anything, play anything, create anything, etc. We wanted to hang out with dad and spend all the time we could with him. But the best fathers know that their kids eat it up when they feel needed. Nothing else is important in that moment.

When daddy needs you the entire world stops.

As fathers we know that (yes I am speaking a little ahead of my own life but I have seen it happen) the two-year-old really doesn’t lend any real help, but it builds them up and makes them feel a part and loved. When you are carrying the groceries in and the little one is there to “help” you give them the bag of chips knowing that it isn’t heavy and they taste just as good in smaller pieces as it will be dropped multiple times on the way from the car to the kitchen.

The dropping tripping over smashing help of the little one isn’t about the help, though. The help is more for the benefit of the child than it is for the parent. Dad is completely capable of carrying the groceries or turning off the lights or painting the wall. He doesn’t need the help of his kid and it may actually be causing him more work, but the whole thing is not for him. The child learns and grows and feels loved and accepted through the situation. They start to learn lessons and skills that they would otherwise miss out on by just going inside and playing with their toys.

There is a connection here with ministry work. As Driscoll put it, “Ministry is putting on a little hard hat and going to work with Dad.” Dad doesn’t need your help. He is an all-powerful God! But when we make ourselves available to be put to work our heavenly Daddy gives us a job to do. Yes He is fully capable of doing it without our help, but the benefit to us is huge. The lessons we can learn from being a part of what Daddy is doing. It helps us grow. It helps us mature. It makes us a part of what He is doing.

So go out there and put on your little hard hat and go to work with your Daddy. He is doing something far beyond your capacity, but He wants to involve you in it!

You are not the artist.  You are the canvas. – Mark Driscoll at Catalyst West Coast.

I love that!  God created me as a blank canvas and is painting away.  There is just something about knowing that He is in control and is working me into a beautiful piece of art.  After all, He is the ultimate Creator.  Isn’t it freeing to know that you are just the canvas?