A wise man once said…

sometimes you have to give up something you love
for something you love more.

Well, maybe he said it a bit more than once. But it is true. In this time of economic struggles, I’m not sure this has ever been more true. No matter what economic class you fall into, what faith you claim, or what city you live in, we are constantly learning that we must sacrifice things that we like for things that love.

Maybe it’s giving up the higher paying job for the one with much less money but far more flexible schedule. Maybe it’s giving up a night out for a night with the family. Maybe it’s giving up the sweets to get a healthier body. Maybe it’s giving up a little extra sleep to a longer drive to live in a more favorable place. It could be hundreds of things. Each person and situation is different. But in this season of change for our family, we have been given a golden opportunity to re-prioritize and re-evaluate. Sometimes it hurts to be honest with yourself. Sometimes it hurts even when you know it’s the best decision. But in the long run, most of the time we have to give up things that we love for the things that we love way more!

What do you need to re-evaluate in your life? Is there something in your life that you need to give up so you cab focus on something more important? Is there something that you are now seeing as the thing you love more over something you should love more?

In the midst of a crazy week that is full of so much work related jobs, tasks and opportunities, I am fighting a battle that I have lost before.  One of the ways that I have struggled in our marriage so far is by working too much.  While working for a church it is very easy to get into the mindset that the work is for God and that it is more important.  Of course I would never agree that my job is more important than my family, but as they say, actions speak louder than words.

For me it isn’t staying out too late or being gone on work trips.  It was much more subtle to me.  I didn’t realize it.  Some of it I wasn’t even seeing as work.  It was just answering emails or playing with graphics or listening to a song on repeat on my iPod.  Yes, occasionally I would bring some more major work home, but it was when that became a regular occurrence.  It was when I would try to perfect something I was working on instead of spending time with my family.  I didn’t realize it, but I was only giving them my emotional, mental and physical scraps.  I was spending so much time thinking and worrying about my work tasks that my brain was consumed with these thoughts and my focus was lacking in the areas it needed to be focused on.

So changes had to be made.  I had to become more efficient with my time in the office so I didn’t have much to bring home.  I had to learn to prioritize my tasks and be ok with not being able to complete everything by the end of that week.  I had to learn to say no to things so that I could say yes to the more important things.  Yes, there are times that we have to get things done and my amazing wife has been great in supporting me when those times come up.

This week is another battle for me.  Fortunately losing the battle doesn’t always mean that the war is lost!  We lose the war when we choose not to fight anymore.  Fight for your family today.  Let your actions be the words that they need to hear.  Tell them you love them and are fighting for them and they will always be more important than work!

It’s amazing the changes in your life following your first child.  Of course many of them are expected or feared, but some are pretty powerful.  The one that has hit me the most and really affects the majority of my life is the area of priorities.

I now have a daughter who is dependent on me and KK and will be for a good 20 years (if not more).  Things are not the same as they were several months ago.  Before Jessi, life was pretty simple and I didn’t think about my priorities as much.  Of course I would put my wife above the rest, but not always.  There were games to be played on the iPhone.  There was basketball to be played.  Surf to be conquered.  Beach to be walked.  TV shows to watched at their regularly scheduled times.  Money to be spent on whatever.  But now things are different.

When your child arrives you are forced to reevaluate your to do list.  Does that game really need to be played?  Should a nap happen instead?  Should I honor my wife and empty the dishwasher?  Is that money going to something worth spending it on in light of the new changes?  Somethings I had to learn to say no to.  Others I had to begin to say yes to more than I did before.  Now the random games don’t get played as much.  The chores need to be done to help out a wife dealing with all kinds of new things.  The Jeep doesn’t need to have the pipes and lift (at least that’s what my good side is trying to convince me of).  The savings account for the baby needs to be built.  The blog doesn’t need a facelift.  The wife does need attention.

Learning to get priorities in line is a big deal.  When you get married you only start to learn that.  But then when a baby comes along, what you started learning gets pushed into high gear.  The earlier you figure out that family comes first and there are others that need to be cared for before your own wants, the better off you are.  You will be in a much better place when these major changes in you life happen.  Learn to prioritize now and you might not be quite so worn out when you get to this point…well, you will probably still be pretty tired, but at least your family will be properly loved and cared for!